Donna O'Donnell Figurski's Blog

It's All About Me!

TidBits About Donna #60 Aliens Have Moved In

It’s true aliens moved into our house this weekend. And … yes, they ARE green.

They are full of hot air and make an incredible amount of noise – a loud whirring sound. One moved onto the main floor – right next to David’s office – right outside our kitchen. David is trying to ignore it, but its whir is incessant! It doesn’t care that he/we are probably going to go deaf. It has moved in, I have been told, for a least a week. (I gave David a pair of earplugs.)

Four more aliens moved into our family/movie room downstairs. There’s one tall one. It’s probably the leader. The rest are squatty – not very impressive-looking members of their clan, but they, too, make a lot of racket. Maybe it’s it’s their way of communicating –  their language. I don’t know, but I can’t make it out. Three green blobs of various sizes squeezed into the bathroom and there is one hiding in the closet under the stairs. Sounds like a children’s picture book title to me. (The Alien in the Closet Under the Stairs.) I can see her peeking out. They are rather featureless creatures and look something like the alien above …

… except for the tall/leader one. He looks like this – just a taller blob. They do have red, glowing eyes that shine in the night. They have only one eye each. If you look closely you can spy four aliens. Very eerie!

All nine aliens arrived on Saturday morning after our bathroom ceiling collapsed under tons of water soaking the walls and flooding the carpeting. The carpet began to make sounds too –  squishy-squashy sounds with my every step.

Okay the TRUE STORY:

I arrived home Friday afternoon after a very productive writing session with my writing partners, Carl and Janet. We meet often at a local coffee shop to chat a little and write a lot. David had been away at an overnight scientific retreat sponsored by his department at Columbia University and he was coming home that evening … and I was excited. My excitement was literally dampened … more like drenched when I stepped onto the floor of our family/movie room. Squish went the carpet – soaked were my feet. One look in the bathroom with its lake on the floor and the ceiling pregnant with pockets of water ready to burst sent me into a panic.

I ran for towels – dozens of them – threw them on the carpet and began to do the “grape” dance. Think old Italian wine-making where bare-footed people stomped on grapes in a stone vat to make wine. I looked like that. Later that day my pedometer read 13,000 steps, which equals about 6 1/2 miles. That’s a lot of wine!

Next I set up fans – four of them. They did NO good. Neither did the towels for that matter. I finally had the presence of mind to call the young man who does many of my odd jobs around the house and some not so odd – like installing the bamboo-hardwood floors throughout the main floor and the porcelain tiles in my kitchen floor, powder room, and foyer. Eric told me to turn off the water. Brilliant idea! Why didn’t I think of that? He said he would be over soon. Sigh!

Eric assessed the damage and began to tear down the rest of the ceiling in search of the leak. There were two pipes spewing water. About five hours later, I no longer had an unwanted third shower in the bathroom, but I still had an awful mess.

Next came the restoration team. They are the ones that brought the alien blobs with them. First they rode a rover, a green rover, of course, that sucked up the water from the carpet. It kind of looked like a segway. Unfortunately the segway caused damage of its own when its driver ran into my mirrored-closet-door and shattered it.

Before the restoration team left, they planted the alien blobs all over my house – and they left them here! I don’t blame them – they probably don’t want them either. So, if anyone needs an alien, I have some to spare.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of ME.)

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September 10, 2012 - Posted by | TidBits About Donna | , , , , , ,

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