Donna O'Donnell Figurski's Blog

It's All About Me!

Musings by Donna #43 Mothers and Daughters


Dreams of Joy (Random House 2011), a sequel to Shanghai Girls (both written by Lisa See) delves into  relationships – relationships between sisters, between husbands and wives, and between mothers and daughters.

Pearl tries in vain to reconnect with her daughter, Joy, who has run from the safety of her San Francisco home to seek “answers” in 1957 China.

With heavy heart, Pearl laments,  “… sometimes it’s just so damn hard being a mother. We have to wait and wait and wait for our children to open their hearts to us. And if that doesn’t work, we have to bide our time and look for the moment of weakness when we can sneak back into their lives and they will see us and remember us for the people who love them unconditionally.”

I wonder how many mothers can easily relate to Pearl’s sadness.


June 19, 2012 - Posted by | Musings by Donna | , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Here’s one Mom who can relate to that story. My daughter was very strong-willed as a teen and into her early 20’s. She looks back now & has said she was impetuous. Now, at 36, 11 years into her 2nd marriage, & with 3 children 10, 5, & 3 3/4th yrs., her values and morals are pretty much back to what she learned as a youngster. It’s grand to have her “back” again!

    Comment by kathy strack | July 4, 2012 | Reply

  2. Kathy,

    That’s wonderful that your daughter realizes that you were in her corner all along. Even though she came to that realization much later than you had hoped for – at least she got there. Sadly, the happy ending doesn’t happen for everyone.

    I know how you cherish your weekly visits with her.


    Comment by donnaodonnellfigurski | July 4, 2012 | Reply

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